My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My ATM looks so different sober.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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