I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
