I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
