Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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