I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
