Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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