So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
