yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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