Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
