Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
