You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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