i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
