I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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