That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
