I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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