I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
