I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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