I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
