Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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