Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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