p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
