You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
