why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
