shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
