JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
