I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
