Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
