is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
