I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
