Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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