I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
