I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
