AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
