Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
