one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
