we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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