C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
