it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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