i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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