mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
