she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
