She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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