I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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