Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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