I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
