I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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