More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
