Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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