You work out of a Hotel?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
