Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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