Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
