i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
