And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
